I like this guy and his personality is AMAZING. He’s everything I want EXCEPT I’m not 100% attracted to him. I’ve dated some really hot guys and I’m wondering if that’s ruined dating for me? What do I do?

Don’t make the grave mistake of dating a guy who you’re not that attracted to. Be friends but more than friends (FWB) — if you’re up for that type of thing and are in no hurry to meet a future long-term boyfriend — it’s the “gear” we’re in when we think they’re not bad looking or anything, but we’re not sufficiently attracted to them to romantically date.

Yes, guys are not going to have a great personality to women he’s more than platonic with when he can “do better”, and she wants to be BF/GF. Same goes for females — gals are not going to have a great personality to men she’s more than platonic with and she can “do better”, and he wants to be BF/GF.

It’s actually quite a simple concept, but we don’t want to emotionally accept it being like that. :)

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Instead, you’re probably really geeked about how he is as a person and you’ve always wanted a guy like that — but when you date hot guys, they lack the persona you’ve always wanted (guys with great personas AND hot are ‘too good’ for you and almost all gals).

If the thought of “I’m not entirely attracted to him” comes to mind — you’re not attracted to him, if you already got to know him. Sorry, you can’t change it. Maybe in 10 years your tastes will open up. :)

Guys, unlike [a vast majority of] gals are not picky at all on looks, to just fool around. You, and most other gals, will actually have a higher ‘bar’ a guy needs to be at in the looks dept to be willing to whimsically fool around VS willing to go out on a romantic date. Guys are in the opposite direction — the girl doesn’t have to be very attractive looking for him willing to fool around; just not ugly to him. Thus, guys have a lower ‘bar’ a girl needs to be at, for him willing to fool around. This is how college-aged women can get confused, as they don’t put this in perspective.

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And yeah, dating hot guys over time does ante-up your tastes. This is one reason why young gals can get confused & frustrated in the dating scene. They may be kinda-dating particular guys or being FWBs with them, but the guy’s not that into them — thus thinking “guys are so [bleep].” The real issue is that it’s guys you can’t quite fully ‘get’ that are so [bleep] — or shall I say not sufficiently interested — to you.